Been a while

New Year's Eve. I'm totally not going to make it until midnight even though that's about an hour away. (Trust me, I'll be getting up when most of you are going to bed in about 4 hours.) I'm saving my new year's resolution post for tomorrow or maybe never, but in the meantime I wanted to pause and say how incredibly grateful I am for my crazy life over here. I have a wonderful, supportive husband and four of the most amazing little creatures ever created in my care. Sometimes they can be a huge handful, but most of the time they are truly a gift. I wish I could explain to the folks who ask me over and over again how I do it that the worst times are so overshadowed by the best times that you barely remember the bad. And that frankly, the best times are often the most mundane times. Take tonight's second dinner (ours, not the kids). Everyone decided to join us and what followed could not possibly be given proper description or justice here. Suffice it to say that many laugh-induced tears ensued. I offer these photos as a small glimpse into what was a hilarious outburst of jersey-wearing, drum-playing, oh-yeah singing, parent-howling joyousness and wish you all a happy new year.

Jolie & Mila

Jolie & Mila
Originally uploaded by itsaduck
Took these today just on whim because Dawn was out sick so I was home with Jolie & Mila this morning. We had great light and each was in a pretty good mood (more than I can say for their mother at this point).

Christmas break started officially today and we are working one what to do daily from the 27th until school starts again.

Maybe I'll do what Eddie does. Today he told me that he prayed to God that he would play better Wii games. Seems reasonable.

Bye baby bunting

Bye baby bunting Originally uploaded by itsaduck

Baby Jolie and I are home alone this weekend. We are tres excited and are hoping against snow. Although if it snows, maybe some Christmas baking will get done. Folks should look forward to cookies made with maple syrup, maybe some ginger, cucumbers, avocado and a couple of carrots. That's about the extent of what we have in the house right now and a snowstorm will not help the pantry. December is a busy month. Bully! projects are going like mad, the photo thing has me a little harried and grocery shopping hasn't really been on the top of the list. It's not good when you are feeding your children the alphabets that go in alphabet soup and calling it mac and cheese. They know, you're making shit up. So, no snow and we'll go grocery shopping. Snow and who knows what we'll be eating.

I've decided

Remember this post? The one where I talked about being lost? In my situation, it's so challenging to find something that will work with the family situation (four kids four and under), that you have to be so careful. Since keeping the kids challenged and engaged and fed and clothed is such a challenging job day to day (not to mention physically demanding), any time that I have left over to work (besides what I do at Bully!) has to be flexible AND I kind of have to love doing it. That's not too many traditional jobs.

Can you just imagine? "Hi, yes, I'd like to be an account strategist/executive with your company. I'm exceptionally well qualified. I'd also like to work from 9:30-2 on MWThF. I'll take client calls after 7:30pm and traveling overnight is out of the question unless I can bring my 6 month old with me. Am I hired?"

Anyway, after much soul searching, I've decided to make a go at something I love to do: photograph children. I have a lot of learning to do but I have a good eye and I'm good at making children comfortable. So, I created my site (I used the old Stairstep Kids since the board kept getting spammed with porn. Nice.) and I have my cards. I'm taking photos of friends kids for the holidays and hope to increase my portfolio. I bought a $300 studio light (gag) and I'm really excited about it. Check out the site and the flickr photos (some are not representative of my best work...mostly the ones that capture the kids with the iPhone) and let me know what you think!

Oh, and I made these for my friend with a new baby. For fun.

The pageant

Collectively, a set of bad pictures overall. But the intent of the above is apparent. Mila decided to join her sister on stage b/c it seemed like she was having a lot of fun.

Church program pactice

Oh, how things change

When I was little, I used to love to decorate the Christmas tree. It was one of my favorite parts of the christmas season. We used to cut down the tree at a farm near my grandmother's house. We'd all go and load the trees into a trailer and bring them home.

The smell made the whole house smell like outside and freshness. I loved opening the box of ornaments, even though they were the same year after year, it felt like finding something new every year. I really was looking forward to passing that tradition on to my own children.

Maybe that will happen later. This is a picture of the Christmas tree that I caught while I was walking up the stairs to put the kids in the bathtub. Feel the reverence.

Bonus

Mom: Anna, do you want a cracky [hard boiled] egg with your dinner?

Anna: Yes. Me need two bowls. One for the egg, and one for the cracky.

The treasures of a three year old

Have you ever felt a little lost?

I don't mean like you can't find your way home from the grocery store, I mean existentially. I have four beautiful, healthy, smart children. They are a ton of work. With my husband, we own what has become a very successful little animation company, also a ton of work (In fact, he's there now. His stamina at times astounds me.) My days are just chock full of things that need to get done, and for the most part do get done. But during those packed days as I'm doing what I have to do, sometimes I find myself wondering what exactly it is I'm supposed to be doing. One day I think it might be photography. Then I look at my recent pictures and realize, hey, lady there are only so many pictures you can take of your kids and right now, you are kind of in a rut. The next day I think maybe I should go back and be my crazy, tech-gadgety account executive type person and tell people what they should do with their online strategy. Still another day and I'm running hither and yon helping random neighbors with their home networking and I think I could maybe do a little freelance tech support for home users. Where does all of this leave you? Basically, a little lost. At least I'm not the only one in the family who feels that way. Today, Eddie said to me: "Mommy? Am I Jewish?"

Oh my gosh. OH MY GOSH!

Those are Anna's new favorite words to say. I don't know where she got them because, frankly, I use the real ones. It's hilarious though. We opened the Christmas ornaments yesterday. A hearty "oh my gosh." She found a sticker book (that her father was supposed to hide for the holidays), another emphatic "oh my gosh." She got a new dress. Oh my gosh!!! Where do they pick these things up? It's so funny, and not so funny, to hear yourself coming and going out of these little parrots. Eddie, now a professional Wii bowler we're proud to announce, missed a spare. "Damn," he whispers. Right intonation, excellent usage, a pitch perfect under-the-breath whisper. A 10. This morning, we hear "Anna, you can do [this] or you can do [that]. And those are your options so settle down and make a decision." I've also gotten a "what the hell" in correct traffic conditions. Oh, and did I mention that I'm doing the South Beach Diet? And did I mention that it sucks? I could only take so much of reading about it and having Anna carry it around the house before I took the hint. It works, for sure, but it sucks. I don't mind eggs, but I'm over hummus. And carrots. And no fruit. 9 more days on Phase 1.