Oh the karmic circle of life

Among the many luxuries you forego as the mother of four children under four: smugness. Oh, you know the mom. The one who says "my kids have always escaped the stomach virus;" or "Eddie isn't really a tattler;" or "yes, she's sleeping through the night, and so young yet!" You will learn to rue the day those words come out of your mouth. The gods smile at each other, nod their heads, and reign down the most unbelievable retribution this side of Vishnu.

It will start with a seemingly innocuous evening that will end 72 hours later with two children vomiting; one on you and your wonderful memory foam mattress pad that has no discernible cleaning option and the other on herself. She will then sleep in it all night (tough girl, the smell is enough to send the dead packing). You've now had three of the longest nights of your life. Followed directly by the most horrifying tattling session (on the child whose mother you told Eddie was not a tattler) accompanied by your own chagrined look.


Smug has no place in the home of four small children. It is a painful lesson to learn. Shame on you mommy.

How to know when you've lost

It happened to me last night. Home in that fateful hour after dinner and before bed. I was holding New Baby standing in the middle of Eddie's room whilst Anna stood on top of the bunk bed hurling books down at Eddie, both howling with laughter.

I tried, in vain, to get the flying books to stop. I stepped backwards onto a castle rampart and barely caught myself and the baby from falling on Mila who was playing with an A/C adapter. I think at that point, I just started laughing. What in the hell else can you do since the scene is completely out of control and totally cliche. Crazed children throwing books around and mom standing there trying to get some order out of it. Did I mention they were in their underwear?

Besides that, I'm trying to get over the fact that I bought my husband his iPhone (an 8gb model) a week before the $200 price cut. Do you think if I march into my apple store and told them I demanded a price adjustment AND I had the 4 crazed children they would honor it or cart me away?

Please ignore the fact...

that we really aren't considered the "country club set" but woo ha we are on the cutting edge of the "newest status symbol".

Again, ignoring the fact that we aren't really among the nations most affluent family and that the concept of me engaging in competitive birthing is absolutely absurd, it's kind of nice to know that if we do join the country club set, we'll be very trendy.